Your Nervous System is Sending You Signals; Are You Listening?

In the world of counseling, nervous system states refer to patterns of activity in the autonomic nervous system (ANS) related to how the body responds to stress, safety, or danger. Here’s a quick summary:

1. Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) – “Fight or Flight”

• Activated by: perceived danger, stress, or excitement

• Functions: increases heart rate, respiration, and alertness; prepares body for action

• Psychological state: anxiety, fear, anger, hypervigilance

2. Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) – “Rest and Digest”

• Activated by: safety, relaxation, recovery

• Functions: slows heart rate, aids digestion, promotes calm

• Psychological state: relaxation, contentment, openness

3. Dorsal Vagal (part of PNS) – “Freeze or Shutdown”

• Activated by: extreme threat or overwhelm

• Functions: slows bodily functions to conserve energy

• Psychological state: numbness, dissociation, helplessness, depression

4. Ventral Vagal (part of PNS) – “Social Engagement”

• Activated by: feelings of safety and connection

• Functions: supports calm states and social interaction

• Psychological state: safety, connection, curiosity, empathy

Triggers and Why We Go into These States

The most common reasons people seek counseling with me is to address anxiety and depression.

ANXIETY

Anxiety is related to your nervous system being in constant activation and “fight or flight”. All those symptoms (fast heart, trouble breathing, panic, overthinking, feeling on edge, bracing your body) are trying to tell you the body is overactivated. We may be activated for several reasons. It isn’t always real danger right in front of us but imagined stress and danger. Here are a few:

• People-pleasing (putting others above ourselves)

• Perfectionism (overworking ourselves with high standards and pressure)

• Difficulty relaxing or doing nothing (never learned it or associate it with ‘laziness’)

• Not paying attention to our bodies (hygiene, pain, hunger cues to eat, thirst cues to drink, need for movement and physical activity)

• Struggling to set boundaries (with our time, energy, and emotions)

• Early life conditioning (pressure from caregivers to succeed, do well, don’t give up, push, don’t complain, perform)

• Witnessing activation in our upbringings (parents who were overly angry, anxious, fearful, distrustful, avoidant)

• Trauma and stress (especially if chronic).

• Lack of coping skills (we don’t know how to deal with anxiety or overactivation).

• Chemical imbalance in the brain (issues with serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and GABA. This is why medication helps – it stabilizes these chemical levels).

I have some helpful suggestions at the bottom.

DEPRESSION

Overactivation can be so overwhelming that your nervous system taps out and shuts down to recuperate and protect itself. This is depression. These symptoms (numbness, no motivation, oversleeping, can’t get out of bed, feeling down) are telling you the body is shutting down. We may shut down for several reasons. Here are a few:

• Not addressing overactivation (above) to prevent shut down

• Doing too much of we don’t enjoy and not enough of what we do enjoy

• Lack of purpose

• Lack of social connection and support

• Avoidance of stressors (financial, work, school, family)

• Trauma

• Medical conditions (chronic pain, chronic illness, cancer, stroke)

• Physical causes (hormonal imbalance, issues with thyroid, low Vitamin D)

• Chemical imbalance in the brain (issues with serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and GABA. This is why medication helps – it stabilizes these chemical levels).

How to Get Out of Fight or Flight / Sympathetic States

Getting out of a sympathetic "fight or flight" state and back into a more regulated, calm nervous system is about helping the body feel safe again. Here are some strategies:

🧘‍♀️ 1. Breathwork

• Why it works: Slow, deep breathing signals safety to the brain via the vagus nerve.

• Try this:

• Extended Exhale: Inhale 4s → Exhale 6–8s (longer exhale calms the body)

🏃‍♂️ 2. Movement

• Why it works: Releases stress hormones and helps discharge built-up energy.

• Try this: Go for a brisk walk, stretch, try trauma-informed yoga, dance, or shake out your limbs.

🌳 3. Grounding Techniques

• Why it works: Anchors you in the present, pulling attention away from racing thoughts and bringing you back into your safe body. Tip: Use the 5 senses.

• Try this:

• Walk barefoot, hold a cold object, splash cold water on your face or wrists, eat a sour candy, drink hot tea, smell a candle, listen to feel-good music, look at something uplifting (quotes, puppy videos, pictures of loved ones).

🗣️ 4. Social Connection

• Why it works: Safe connection with others activates the ventral vagal state.

• Try this: Call a friend, hug someone, talk to a pet, or even look at photos of loved ones.

🎵 5. Sound & Music

• Why it works: Soothing tones (especially low-frequency music) can calm the nervous system.

• Try this: Listen to calming music, hum, chant, or sing — all stimulate the vagus nerve.

🧠 6. Reframe the Threat

• Why it works: The mind interprets the body’s signals. Changing your thoughts can calm your body.

• Try this: Ask: “Am I safe right now?” or “What’s another way to view this?”

🧴 7. Aromatherapy or Touch

• Why it works: Pleasant scents and gentle touch signal safety.

• Try this: Use calming essential oils (like lavender), go to a professional massage or try self-massage. Other body-based strategies include acupuncture (my favorite)!

How to Get Out of Dorsal Vagal Shut Down

Getting out of dorsal vagal shutdown—that numb, disconnected, collapsed state—requires a gentle, gradual approach. Slowly bring energy and safety back into the body and mind without overwhelming the system. Here are some strategies:

🌅 1. Start Small: Tiny Movements

• Why it works: Dorsal shutdown = low energy. Tiny actions gently wake up the system.

• Try this:

• Wiggle your fingers or toes

• Stretch your arms slowly

• Roll your shoulders or gently rock side to side

🌤️ 2. Orient to the Environment

• Why it works: Helps your brain recognize the present moment as safe.

• Try this:

• Slowly look around the room

• Name things you see, hear, or feel (“I see a lamp, I hear a bird...”)

• Remind yourself: “I am here. I am safe now.”

👥 3. Gentle Social Contact

• Why it works: Safe connection activates the ventral vagal system (opposite of shutdown).

• Try this:

• Sit with someone kind (even in silence)

• Pet an animal

• Watch a comforting video or listen to a familiar voice

🧘 4. Rhythmic, Regulating Inputs

• Why it works: Steady rhythms support regulation and help shift the nervous system upward.

• Try this:

• Soft music with a steady beat

• Rocking gently in a chair

• Breathing with a slow rhythm (even 3s inhale, 3s exhale is a start)

🔦 5. Focus on the Edges of Numbness

• Why it works: Full sensations may be overwhelming, but awareness of some feeling helps shift.

• Try this:

• Notice: Where in your body do you feel anything at all? Warmth, tension, tingling?

• Stay with it, gently. Let sensation grow at its own pace.

🧠 6. Compassionate Self-Talk

• Why it works: Encourages safety and connection internally.

• Try this:

• “It makes sense I feel this way.”

• “I’m not broken, I’m protecting myself.”

• “This won’t last forever.”

🪁 7. Imagination and Visualization

• Why it works: The brain responds to imagined safety like real safety.

• Try this:

• Picture a safe place

• Visualize someone supportive nearby

• Imagine light slowly filling your body from your feet up

Professional Therapy Services

These are only a few of the ways we can start to address nervous system states and get back into safety and calm. This process is not linear—some days you might feel stuck in a certain state again. That’s okay. Healing often takes time, co-regulation, and patience. It can be extremely helpful to get extra support from a professional therapist. You can slow this process down. Gather education and information from your therapist, start slowly experimenting with new skills, and get encouragement and accountability as you practice. Beyond the skills, a therapist can help you address the ROOT CAUSES of your over-activation and shutting down. Remember that list at the top? Your body is resorting to overactivation and shutting down for valid reasons, so it is important to address them.

Contact me if you are in NM or TX and want to start therapy. I’m here to help.

Footnotes: I don’t have specific resources as this information has accumulated over 6 years of practice alongside several trainings. To learn more, here are some of the sources I often draw from: Lindsay Rothschild, LCSW in trauma informed yoga, Dr. Vanessa Ruiz in chronic pain and holistic health, Dr. Camea Peca in body-based self-regulation, and Maggie Hayes in somatic work. Chat GPT was used to list/organize coping skills for overactivation and shutdown.